Friday, November 16, 2007

News Review - Week Ending 16 November 2007

News review week ending 16 November 2007

  • Ian Wright

A few weeks ago Ian Wright was involved in an altercation involving a Nigerian traffic warden. I know I know... However on a serious note Ian was overheard to tell the brother some cuss words and treat him with comtempt. People who witnessed the incident claimed Ian was actually racist towards the traffic warden with Wrighty saying things like "Would his parents be proud, after spending money to send him to college, so he can come to England and give out parking tickets?". Ian, I was not there and it was not broadcast on Sky News or at barber-shop on Camberwell new road, so for now I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. However, should the events prove to be true, we all have enough Nigerian friends to know that there is already an Obia spell on you Ian. Lesson to learn: Don't ever run your mouth on another brother, regardless of status, especially if he is from the land of our Fathers. The only difference between you and him Ian, is that you have had a few more breaks than him, and you get to sit next to the two Alan's.

  • Facebook

This is a new fad for people who want to tell the world their business. This blog is somehow different because I'm pratically annoymous whereas facebook tells you minute details such as who your weed man is and where you buy knock off Armani jackets. For the people of caucasion equation, facebook should not pose a problem, but for us of the darker skin complextion, this is a definate no-go area. You see employees will soon start to check potential employers via the website. So its no good filling up your profile on facebook with x amount of info about how you enjoy garage and 2-step, drinking five cans of special and smoking a bag a night. By the time you take off your jacket at the interview the main man will be asking you what you think of Dizzie Rascal and on your way out can you buss a move.

  • Football quota's

Back again with this foolishness. Even Steve Gerrard is caught up in the number of foreign players now playing in the premiership. You all know I'm a die-hard reds fan, but trust me, to see any more players similar to Jermaine Pennant and Emile Heskey will have me supporting Rochdale quicker than you can say "where's the rizla's?". No other countries are complaining of quota's as it has nothing to do with the number of european players plying their trade in the prem but all to do with whether you are any good or not. A small history lesson to those following the Stevie G mantra. The UK is part of the EU and therefore ALL people are able to move freely in employment, housing and hospital care to ANY country within the EU. There are three English guys a Spanish, Iranian, not to mention 1/2 a dozen Indian guys all to working here, quite happily, amongst a team of Dutch people, here in Holland. I wonder what would happen if our Departmental Manager were to summon us and explain that there are too many foriegners in his team and started to talk about quota's. Before he had even finished speaking, I'd be on the next available RyanAir flight to Liverpool and give you a good old school neck-back slap. English players do not move abroad, because ignorant like you, they are unwilling to learn a language, embrace the culture and sample paella. By the way, Italy have had more foriegners playing in Serie A for the past twenty years and have just won the world cup for an unprecidented fourth time. However I'm sure that answer is too simplistic for English fans.

  • Imran Khan

Eleven days ago Imran Khan went into hiding, following the ongoing turmoil in Pakiston, with the forth coming elections, due in early January 2008. Not even an press conference arranged by Ian Botham or Viv Richards to enquire about his well being or chat about old times. Instead they let a man who was once the greatest cricket all-rounder in the world, out hiding somewhere, in the Indian jungle, trying to escape assaination attempts. Yesterday Imran Khan was arrested by the phoney-American-backed president Musharraf, who claims he's not like George Bush and that people can enjoy free and open elections in Pakistan. Imran Khan was standing as an MP in that same said free election. Ahhh, that American freedom thingy.

  • Paul Parker

Paul Parker hit the nail on the head when he mentioned that it would be a good thing for England not to qualify for the 2008 Euro championships, because they may then look at the real picture and implement solid procedures in time for the next campaign. Simple thought's you would think from an ex England international, but Paul next time you have them thoughts ring up Peter Shilton and get him to say them. The F.A may actually listen.

  • Anne Frank tree to fell

Next Wednesday (Woensdag) the tree which Anne Frank spoke about in her diaries, will be felled by Amsterdam City Council. The horse chessnut tree which has stood for over 150 years, will be cut, due to a report published last month, stating the condition of the tree was unhealthy. Rumour on the streets on Leidsplien are that there is 100 keys of top columbian gold, hidden since 1972 are unfounded and those interested in marking this special occassion, should make there way to Anne Frank House at 1:30 next Wednesday 21 November.

  • George Bush

This week, the president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy arrived on a whirlwind visit to see Dibby over in Washington. It was the first visit by the new French Preident to help paper over cracks formed by the two countries in the lead up to the US inavasion of Iraq. The greeting which welcomed Mr Sarkozy was out of the ladybird 'my first 50 french words'. Dibby said this "Bienvenue à la maison blanche" which translates to 'Welcome to the White House'. If my French was that bad or I was like Dibby and didn't gain any qualifications from school I would either keep my mouth shut or buy some masters and honours from off the internet.


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