A report released on Tueday, states that the average woman purchases 8 pairs of shoes a year. That is 8 a year not per month as my wife instills. If you are reading this honey, on your way back from playing 'Wag' I suggest you re-read the article and explain why for 15 years I have been buying 8 pairs of shoes a month. Well,its feels like 8 a month, although that may well include the shoes for children.
I'm sure due to the amount of food shopping, washing of clothes, collecting the children from school, cooking the wonderful meals that you do, this may well have been an oversight - and what was actually intended for the pre-nup was in fact 8 per annum, not 8 per month. I will review the pre-nup documentaion and ask for it to be amended at the next family board meeting.
To other men folk, who have worked out that the way to a women's heart is first shoes and then sexual gratification, the article appeared in this week's edition of the Daily Telegraph, I suggest you print the article as a proof of concept, especially if the matter goes to court. Now I am educated, thanks to the Women's supplement of the Telegrah, I wonder if reading Cosmopolitan or Elle, will help in uncovering other secrets unbeknown to the male species. Needless to say, I think the 3 holidays a year and sex 4 times a week is also excessive, but I am not complaining about these issues as I like to see you in bikini and our sex life will always be triple x rated.