Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Barak Obama - Exclusive Presidential Interview



Breaking new grounds, installing new optimism, time for change. These are words you'll see mentioned by the new puppet (oops) President for USA, Barak Obama.

I know a man who knows a man, who knows a man, who knows Barak, and palms were crossed with silver and cannabis. His first presidential interview was granted to the readers of tspoonfr. Here are exerts taken from the interview, in the Bahamas in March 2009. (If my boss is reading this, I was also busy building 3 servers, 7 Oracle databases and configuring the EMC storage SAN).

tspoonfr


Yo Bro. I'm glad you found your way into the top post, however I am not an idiot and no sell-out, so can you explain to the darker skin nation, how you managed to belong to those secret organizations and are they're any other brothers/sisters who we need to be wary of: sent to trick and deceive, but spoken with that side-grin and voice, where you want to kick in the TV?

Barak Obama:

Thank you. As you know, it is difficult to explain in simple terms, how I managed to get to the position I find myself in today. If I were to come here and explain that the voting system is a myth: how the people who employ me control the banking and financial conglomerates around the world: how they control the media in order to dictate and influence the masses and finally that it has been this way for the past 300 years, I do not think I will be doing a service to the people I work for. I am a mere pawn in the bigger scheme's of things.

I can however in an attempt to answer your second question, that indeed there are many other darker skinned people operating within the confides of the 'Skull & Bones', 'Federal Reserve' and the 'CFR'. Although I must hasten to add that this intense questioning will not only draw unwanted attention to them but have profound repercussions with their status in the community.

tspoonfr:

Can you provide us with any name of these people? Also are they playing a prominent role within the society and specifically the black nation today, as a whole?

Barak:

I don't want to name names, but Oprah Winfrey is one, Will Smith, Bin Laden, Jesse Jackson to name but a few and I'm sure that there are at least another 30 or so that are in position's of authority within certain organizations and councils that promote globalisation and one world. Again I must hasten to add I am unfamiliar with this line of questioning, I was personally informed that we would stay clear of such matters and were here to discuss hip-hop and my all time favourite rappers.

tspoonfr:

Cool, so far so good. I'm sure there are many magazines who would be interested to know what you think of Tupac, Public Enemy and 50 Cent, but we grown up's would more like to know if we can put jaffa cakes in the cupboard on a regular basis and whether the constant banging on about "CHANGE" is another well-timed propaganda misconception similar to "say no to drugs" or you really mean to change things and ensure the world is in a better position by the team you leave office. Now can you tell the readers some important matters that affect the black community as a whole?

Barak Obama:

Of course. Sure why not. I mean, no biggie.

tspoonfr:

OK, can you tell the readers, whether the price of weed will be dropping, because my mate Linroy states that the price of good sensi not the rubbish home grown variety, but the good stuff, well he tells me that that price of an ounce has increased 18% in the last two years and this is not in line with inflation. Can you explain and provide comfort to the millions of us who indulge on a daily basis, able to function in the work force but always seem to forget to get that extra packet of cigarette paper's, why this is the case and what you intend to do about it - as the thousands of email's which arrive in our inbox will testify, that a world wide riot could be on the cards, and none of us wish that upon you in your first term in office.

Barak Obama:

Well I can try. My advisers tell me....

tspoonfr:

Yo, yo - nah I don't want to hear that 'adviser rubbish'. we are talking black man to black man - allow that nonsense and talk from the heart and do not insult me, as I am fully aware you know the price of an ounce of weed. Now do we have to start again or do I need to put down this pen and pad and get bring some physical drama to proceedings?

Barak Obama:

Apologies. I am so used to speaking to people like CNN, BBC, SKY NEWS etc and sprouting a lot of lies that I sometimes forget where I am. Its the same when I go to the barber shop. Instead of asking for a fade I starting speaking a foreign language and asking if he can take a bit off the top and not too much off the side. So, as you were saying, the price of an ounce today has increased because we are having difficulties with Escobar and his people, but we hope to solve this by July, when the harvest season starts. Put it down to issues with the previous government. We'll say no more. Some of Dubya's people got a bit greedy and started operating by themselves. Again not naming any names here, but Bill Clinton is just too damm greedy for his own good. I mean when is enough man? Anyway the program is back on track and you should starting seeing good crop at 1985 prices, I can guarantee that.


tspoonfr:

Well that's nice to hear, do you have any advisers talking directly to Uncle Esco or will you need help from the readers of tspoonfr?

Barak:

I think we are OK in that department and tell your readers they are not the only one having to suffer due to the global warming situation. I have not been harvesting as much a crop as previous years and noticed the quality has deteriorated over the years.

tspoonfr:

word that bro....

Barak:

The general public fail to grasp the nettle. They focus mainly on such matters as the oceans and rivers, the North and South Pole's or even Polar Bears which all suffer from the global climate. I can tell you that back in 1971, in college back in Detroit, my flatmates and I would get 14 hours of sunlight and the crop contained much more THC than it does today. Hence the need to re-open diplomatic relationships with Columbia, but this time keep them opened. I aim to push this policy through within the first six months of my presidency. Expect to see an increase in the number of Alzheimer patients who will register for free medicinal weed.

tspoonfr:

Word. So Mr O can you tell us at tspoonfr, what plans you have for single parents, whether government's will be doing more to help those who's Baby Father's abandoned them because they had a preference for nightclubs rather than than educating their children and helping wifey? I mean a single parent finds it difficult enough, without being ostracized by society. Also what about equal pay and rights for women to have time off for having children. I mean if women do not have children - who will?

Barak Obama:

I fully understand this dilemma has not been paid full attention by previous members of the establishment. Michelle has taken over this particular area and will give it her undivided attention. We have one family member, in a similar situation, who's partner left her, because he required to visit a well known 'call-girl ring' and found it difficult to commit. I am fully aware also that the child protection authority are incapable of tracking down absent fathers and enforcing the laws of the lands. You can let your readers also know that we are seeking legislation through congress to dramatically increase the equal opportunities for women in our society, not just the pay structure but also in management and leadership roles. We aim to bring about Change. A new way and better accountability than previous governments.


tspoonfr:

Well, we will be watching your every move brother and any sign of going back on your words will have a severe price to pay, especially from the Mothers Rights groups, who's side we are on.

Another question we had sent in from one of our readers is from a Micheal Patterson from Wrexham in Wales who writes to ask, "How you will handle the pressure of the Illuminati and Bilderberg groups, ie: your employers"? What is your response?


Barak Obama
:

That is a question I would normally skip and make a joke about chicken or tight shorts, but I understand I am speaking to intelligent readers and I have a sense of duty to try and answer in an honest and forthright way. The best way to summarize that point would be to say... nothing!! Even for my own people that question has only one ending and I have a few more things to do in life before my time is up. So if I may, can I postpone that answer until we see what happens. It is not only the KKK out to get me, if you have any idea what these people like Rockefeller, The Warburg's, Lehman Brothers, Kissinger, The Bushes, Colin Powell, Condeleza Rice, Tony Blair, Alan Greespan... if you had any idea what these people were capable of... Well you'd just, catch a train in the morning and go and get a job. I thought this many times, but I hope to be able to change within. So the answer is no, I will not go against the agenda set by the global elite and if the lower and middle classes do not understand or grasp that point, they should move up a level.


tspoonfr:

Are you trying to be funny? We have contacts in Harslden that will have your CIA agents drinking out of a tube at St. Thomas' Hospital. Now for the final question, before we go and kick back and smoke a few. There's a story doing the rounds, that there is actually no recession taking place or financial crash of the markets, but that you were brought in and told to spread that gossip and the trillions of dollars you manufactured last week was all in tense and purposes money that you owed to an Amsterdam drug cartel and not used as a bailout in order to stabilize the country and the world as a whole. Can you confirm or deny this report we found, buried deep in the depths of the internet more than a month ago?

Barak Obama:

We are getting into depths of some dangerous discussion that I would like to stay clear of, if you do not mind. I have a wife and children to support, who have no health insurance and Michelle needs me. So may I be exempt from answering any further questions without a lawyer present, as I have seen what can happen to people like OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson when you get above your station as a black man.

tspoonfr:

I understand you are a house-negro I just wanted the public to see for themselves, you have no heart and are driven by greed, power and the pursuit of the dollar. How you have no intention of Changing, even a light bulb never mind relations between east and west. I just wanted the public to see how you are manipulated and a puppet for the global elite: more a problem than a solution. And for you to use words delivered by Malcolm X in your inauguration speech (didn't think anyone would notice) well Malcolm would be tuning in his grave to see a sell-out like you brought here to deceive not only the general masses but your own people as well.

Shame on you.

tspoonfr

disclaimer:

all names and details which have been used in this article have had official clearance from the black house. tspoonfr has no finances to speak of, so it will be a waste of time to take me to the small claims court. And for those wondering where I gathered my information and sources: the same place as CNN, ABC and BBC World Service.

tspoonfr

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Its good to have the REAL journalism back online - Keep it up - and the writing please.

Yvonne said...

Oh Honey, there you are!