Monday, November 5, 2007

Lewis Hamilton

Lewis Hamilton

Following Lewis Hamilton being crowned world champion by the people of colour I wondered what other sports could now be open, where Black people may one day dominate, as we do in Golf, Basketball and Dominoes.

Suffice to say the management of this blog have demanded an enquiry in the last two races of the season where there is video footage of both Nigel Mansell and Damon Hill acting suspiciosly in the Maclaren pits prior to the race.

A statement released on behalf of the PR firm representing Nigel Mansell, which also happens to represent Ian Wright, told this afternoon, "We had a phone call from Mr Wright, who lately has come under severe critisim from sections of the Black press, to hold on to his position as the most prominent role model for blacks in Britian today".

Nigel Mansell has known Mr Wright for a number of years, through a number charity events and celebrity functions all over the country. Mr Mansell has expressed that there is no conspiracy or has he done anything to jepodise Lewis Hamilton's bid to become Formula 1 champion, and finally Mr Mansell would like it known, that HE remains Britians number 1 Motor Racing driver and not some meer upstart who has not started to to grow his pubes yet. The case continues....

So what are these other sports, which have less Black participants than Coronation Street? I mean who would have thought before this season's spectacle by Hamilton, that a Black man could drive a car for an hour without stopping mid-lap to put some rizla's together. So with the door firmly kicked down we should be looking to get in and dominate these following sports before the debt-ridden Oympics reaches town in 2012.


A gap has appeared following Tim Henman’s announcement to quit. With Roger Federer dominating the mens game and the Willliams sisters seemingly more interested in flossing than winning tournaments, then it requires someone with character and shock value. Someone like R.Kelly who goes on tour and tries to get up the most nastiness, while still playing top tennis, winning Grand Slams and bringing drama to press conferences. If they become succesful enough to make it in the top 100 they would should sure enjoy a wonderful career touring the globe hitting tennis balls and having to prove you're not one of the drug groupies hassling the players.


I think if the managing body reviewed the rules to allow weed smoking there would be a rush of Black man taking up this game. To be there on TV under those lights, with the pressure of finding double twelve to close the game out. And to do all that without a spliff in your hand. Let's be fair. There's drinkers and there's smokers. So even up the rules is all I ask.I could also forsee one of us needing treble fifteen, double tops to win and trying to grab the calculator off the match referee. This is a game that requires patience, a quick brain and the ability to remain cool under pressure. As we posses none of those traits, the hope of finding a Black Phil Taylor remains as allusive as finding Lord Lucan.


I actually like this game as its not to disimilar to football. However as I do not really understand the rules, I can't be sure what type of player we need to find.Someone who can skate fast, handle the stick and have an awareness of the rules should help. But it's the systematic fighting which takes place that I do not understand. It appears and correct me if I'm wrong, but you can fist up a man and all that happens, is that you have to sit down for two minutes. No court or police proceedings. No being branded a thug for deliberate foul play and given six months community service. I've seen games where the entire team is in all out fight flow the game hasn't stopped and the cameras don't even go to an ad break. This must appeal to some of us, who have high testesterone levels and don't like going to the gym.

Sychronised Swimming

Hold on. Let me get this straight. Two Black people trying to do something together in time? Under water? Lets just move on...


If they moved the skiing indoors, that would be different matter. But it's the snow which puts many of us off. Now, I live out in Europe and love to snowboard, so I have first hand knowledge that it's possible to go skiing in your t-shirt, under the blazing sunshine, having the most fun since you were a kid. Trying to explain that concept to my friends of the carribean equation, I am forever greeted with that quizical look, head tilted to one side, of 'snow+ice=cold'.Should we overcome this mindset then there is an enormous amount of events up for participation. From snowboarding to downhill skiing, to slalom racing to the 90m jump. Maybe it's having ski's on your roof-rack, or the wearing of sellopates which can make you look so not 'Mack Daddy' that contribute to the lack of the bling brigade taking up the sport.

Tour de France

Another of those sports that I've recently adopted due to my new found European indulgence. I have been hooked on this race, when in the first weeks of moving to France, one of the stages actually passed our house. This gruesome cycle race consists of three weeks of the most energy sapping, hill climbing madness on the planet. The simple fact that so much drugs is involved and not one Black man in sight begs me to question to the authenticity of this sport. They do have a slight advantage over in Europe in that they have roads and a culture which respects people on bikes. Unlike the UK where as a driver you can knock down a cyclist and claim in court "you didn't see him". The scenery of the tour is magical, but for the rider the sacrifices to become another Lance Armstrong border on the tortureous. I'd just like to see a Black guy attempt to climb 'mont veux', through a gap, no wider than a door with the crowd yelling obscentaies inches from his face. Then we'd see the use of the Gendarime.


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