Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The Olympics fiasco

Why the high costs of the London 2012 Olympics, when we have many perfectly sized parks in London? The last we heard from Dick Turpin wife, Tessa Jowell, responsible for administering the finances of the Olympic bid, was that the budget for the games were likely to be in the region of £9.5 billion having initially been set at £2.5 billion. This sounds very familiar to the football transfer saga's involving Harry 'wish-i-was-darker' Redknapp and Sam'The Don' Allardyce. Where has all the money gone? Who has had their hands in the cookie jar and come up with jaffa cakes? As we have no brothers on the committee asking questions and Kelly Holmes is busy flashing for Seb Coe, we have to go undercover, Macintyre style to find the true costs and how the finances of the games work. This comes on the back of Brazil's successful bid for the 2014 football world cup, where they were the ONLY bidders. With victory announced over their French compatriots, the fact the games were coming to London, meant not only were Londoners excited at the prospect of having to pay an additional £170 per annum on their poll tax, but hordes of electrician’s, plumber's and carpenter's in Warsaw saw the potential to get rich, like Fiddy.

If they had bothered to ask for my opinion I could have saved them the billions and instead open a coffee shop franchise across the capital which would have enabled more visitors from Holland and Caribbean countries. My proposal would have been to use the parks in London, notably, Burgess Park and Peckham Rye Park in South London. With a non-reliable transport system, rip-off mini cab drivers high conjestion charges and regular trains shuttling in and out of the capital, not only would this keep the costs down, but there would no costs. I envisage that we paint white lanes in the grass, as a running track. We could either have six lanes or style it out with eight lanes as I noticed in the last olympics, held in Los Angeles. An assortment of empty beer cans can be used as hurdles and there are many trees around where, actually making the javelin, before throwing it, gives added marks. A simple broom handle, which can treble up and be used as the high jump and pole vault. As for the swimming and gymnastics, we have Elephant & Castle leisure centre, which charges £1.80 for swimming and £2.50 for a group, who make full use of the gym for 45 minutes, providing they clean up afterward s. For team’s sports such as hockey, football and tennis, we can just lay down our jackets and jumpers to use as posts and the crowd will decide if the ball is out of play. Should you recommend any of my proposals to your local MP, not only do the costs of the Olympics spiral downwards, thus saving you £170 and the country £9.5 billion, but we would have a solid case to obtain planning permission for the coffee shops.