When is a man a man?

Yesterday while at work I noticed a work colleague talk down to a big woman in my prescence. I attempted on no less than three occassions to grab the guy's attention to step back, as I could see he was not getting anywhere and getting more and more adjadatated, therefore stressing out the lady who was unable to comply with his requests. I left it at that, before taking the guy to oneside in a diplomatic way, outside on our own, away from prying eyes, after he had calmed down. I then proceed to calmly explain that his behaviour was unacceptable and that he should know better, as he is 40 something, married with children and in the time I have spent in Amsterdam, I have considered this man to be a work collegue that I can chat to and have a quiet word. But like all us black man know, this is a myth and I should have known better that to try and play Martin Luther King. I attempted to explain the following:-

1) It does not look good for a big man to be opening his mouth on a big woman, full stop. Especially a woman of colour and definately not in my prescence.

2) Regardless of what you were asking her to do, have respect as she is unable to comply, allow it man, stop stressing the lady and move on.

3) I am explaining this in a kind and gentle way, as the next time, a certain husband may have you pinned against the wall, while you count how many teeth you have left, although you are right.

4) How would you like for some man to be chatting to your wife in that tone, manner, rudeness?

Needless to say the man I was speaking to failed to adhere to any of my points, so I left it at that, until the woman in question stormed out of the office, past us obviously upset and in tears. There are eight other men in our office at not one of them stood up while this was occurring. I'm waiting to go into work tomorrow and will highlight to the entire team, about the need for respect towards fellow work colleagues, before someone comes at me with them Dutch attitude and I have to go ghetto and start dash fax machine in someone's headtop.

What is it with some men in the office, that they have to feel superior to other people, including women, when they have a wife at home, they could not talk to or even dream about talking like that? It's about respect and it seems, some men leave these at home, after the morning kiss on the doorstep.

tspoonfr