Monday, April 11, 2011

Oh poor Rory....

Poor young Rory Mac. I felt for him for about 2 minutes yesterday, then jumped up and said 'Bitch'. Don't get me wrong he played great for 3 days until the pressure reach but I love Tiger and the fact he indulges in similar sexual fantasies to myself my respect for him has gone colossal. And when TW is in contention then I start doing voodoo on the other golfers in the hope they do a 'Greg Norman'.

The golf displayed last night was great entertainment and shows again why this is the the greatest and most difficult of sports played on the planet. It had drama, excitement, courage and more leadership changes than a night at the local Labour Town Hall. As a semi-expert in this game I knew it was far from over for the boy with the Michael Jackson afro. Although 4 shots ahead entering the final day, I have witnessed enough last day blow-outs to know the pack were chasing. And in that pack included Tiger.

Woods was -2 after three holes and he had that bounce in his step that was last seen coming out of the lap dancing club in Los Angeles, more than eighteen months ago. And when Tiger is on the march, you better watch out. He is like Tyson in his prime. Kobe Bryant seeking a championship ring. Or Ronaldo when he was at Barcelona before the nightclubs and threesomes took over. I was praying for Tiger not to draw the driver out of his bag, as this is his nemesis. But I could not get a tweet to him quick enough and low and behold, with adrenalin pumping after another birdie, whoosh, Woods was in the trees.

But nothing could prepare me for what I was to witness with Rory Mac. His drive on 11, was similar to mine at the local course, before knee surgery and sexual gratification put an end to my illustrious career with the irons and green grass. I thought wow or more to the point "What the f**k was that?" to see Mac standing between two log cabin houses as though he were waiting for someone to invite him in for coffee. He followed this with a triple bogey from no more than 10 feet whereas at that point someone should have ran up to him and give him a hug. One of those hugs a parent gives to their child. I have no idea what happened to him after this, as the BBC so full of praise at the start of the show, decided they could not waste video footage to follow him around any longer.

Tiger birdied the 16th when it should have been an eagle and I felt his tournament slip away, like the porn star actress he was practising oral liaisons with two years ago. But he will be back I have no doubt. As for Rory Mac, he will need some soul searching before he enters the public domain once again. He is young. We all had a f**ked up afro and then grew up and I feel this will happen to him. Hopefully it will happen before the next major, because you do not wish for the little Irish boy to follow Tiger's path and start visit certain club in Dublin.


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